


The Parodies: Bicker Fest

by NitPickz



Series: The Parodies [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Band Fic, Bickering, Everyone is done with Sammy, Gen, Usual BS, mention of alcoholism, mention of drugs, the band is fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29983242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NitPickz/pseuds/NitPickz
Summary: The band is sick of Sammy's usual bullshit. That's all you need to know.
Series: The Parodies [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2175738





	The Parodies: Bicker Fest

Shaun: "For the last time, get this crap out of here!"

Sammy: "Hell no! I paid 100 bucks for that!"

Shaun: "Of our fucking savings, you coke snorting shit?!"

Sammy: "Ah, fuck off, ya nosey bastard! We got more than enough anyway!"

Shaun: "Yeah! And a bunch of legal bullshit with the cops! That was the 4th time we've had to bail you out and this is the 5th time you've been kicked out of rehab!"

Sammy: "I am who I am! If ya don't like it, you can take a hike!"

Edgar *from next door*: Jesus Christ! Shut the hell up, the both of you! I have a fucking hangover, you dumb bastards!"

Ian *from upstairs*: "Dammit! I'm trying to work up here!"

Jess *from downstairs*: "People are trying to do stuff around here!"

Marcus *from another room*: "What the fuck's going on in there?!"

Adam: Everyone stop yelling! My ears are ringing!"

Mia: "The hell did Sammy do this time?!"

Jake *just walked in*: "Sammy! I told you to stop leaving your junk in my drawers!"

Harriet: "Oh my fuck! Again?!"

Ross: "And he left shrooms in the kitchen!"

Shaun: "Goddammit!"

Marcus *barging in* "I ought to beat the shit outta you!"

Edgar: "Fuck's sake! Sammy, you took my medicine!"

Adam: "Mine too!"

Shaun: "That's it! You're getting dried out! Come here!"

Sammy: "Take your fuckin' hands off me!"

Marcus: "You're going to a clinic and you're gonna stay there 'til you're fixed, you coke snorting, dope shooting, pill snatching son of a bitch!"

Will: "Guys! Sammy took out another reverse mortgage on the warehouse!"

Harriet: "You have got to be fucking kidding me!"

Jenna: "No joke! He's done it again!"

Ian: *barging downstairs* "Why you little shitbag!"

Ross: "You mother-!"

Mia: "Lemme at him!"

*All barging towards lobby*

Jake: *sighing* "I'm gonna go make a call. See if we can get a gig to pay off the mortgage"

Jenna: "We're heading out. Good luck with his bullshit, Shaun"

Will: "I'm with ya in this one, Jen"

Adam: "I'm coming too! I need fresh air anyway"

Will: "Whatever. Let's go"

*Will, Jenna and Adam head to the garage, get in a car and drive off*

Edgar *takes a swig of his drink and promptly spits it out* "Ugh! You put bong water in there, you fucker!"

Sammy: "Hey, it's your fault you left your drunkard fuel in the kitchen!"

Mia: "So you made a bong out of the bottle? Sheesh, you are so STUPID"

Sammy: "Oy, back off, bitch!"

Ross: "That's it!"

*Ross socks Sammy in the jaw*

*And Sammy dives back at him*

Ian: "And hello, bullshit. I'm outta here" *leaves the room*

*Mia joins in the roughhousing*

Shaun: "Goddammit!" *tries to intervene*

*Jess and Harriet exchange glances*

Jess: "Wanna head into town?"

Harriet: "Sure"

Marcus: "I'm gonna hang back so I can beat coke-head's ass when this is finished"

Harriet: "Alright. Have fun, Marcus"

*Jess and Harriet leave for the garage*

Edgar: "I'm getting a damn drink"

*Shaun snaps to Edgar just as he's leaving*

Shaun: "Oh no, you don't!"

*And he pulls Edgar the opposite way*

Edgar: *outside the room* "Get off me!"

Shaun: "You said you had a hangover, you idiot!"

Edgar: "And I'm about to have another one in a few hours if you let go of me!"

Shaun: "You had 4 bottles last night! *trailing off* And you left puke all over the kitchen...!"

Marcus: *heavy sigh* "Business as usual..."


End file.
